Using a car as a stress ball

I forgot how well driving at night works for stress. It was very nice indeed.

Everything still looks crappy with a hint of getting better, life wise, but at least we can deal with that without people in our face. Loren’s going to see if one of his friends can get him a job with the state. Pros: Good money and good benefits. Cons: In Salem and it’s a grave shift yet again.

Maybe it’s just that we’re/I’m stressed right now, but I feel like the whole time we’ll be living in Salem there going to be a gray cloud over me. Keeping me from being as happy as I could be. I know that life could be so much worse than this. However… it’s not. Until it is that bad, my life currently is always going to be a little overcast. Knowing that I could be somewhere other than I’ve always been for the past, like, 15 years.

I just feel like we’re going to be living in a cheap (as in low cost not crappy… although) apartment with a cheap car and cheep stuff in Salem forever. Because that’s all Loren’s parents seem to focus on is cheap things. Why buy this nice fridge, for example, when you can buy this fridge that will do what you need it to, without all the fixings, for half the price? Because we can afford it, and it’s nice to have nice things. It’s nice to have a pool and a washer and dryer in the apartment. Sure is a little more expensive than renting an apartment with none of that included, but it makes life so much nicer and easier. Just because you can get by with the bare minimum doesn’t mean we can.

*yawn* I believe that’s enough ranting for now. Tomorrow Loren, Amy, and I are going to bush park to take fun pictures since it has been so nice out the past few days. So, hopefully, I’ll have some new pictures up soon, and I’ll finally have some pictures of Loren and I together! Yay! The day after that, Wednesday, we’re supposed to be going to the Lancaster mall and hang out with Keith and probably Megan. He works at the photo studio in the mall, so we might get even more pictures! I’m glad we have some fun stuff planned. I just hope no one comes to rain on our parade.

Labels: bush park, cheap, drive, fun, get by, grey cloud, job, Keith, life, Loren, mall, Megan, money, night, overcast, pictures, rant, rent, stress, worse

Mindy | 11:59 PM | Post a Comment

Breathing calmy once more

Aaah. Who ever thought that my parent’s house would be a place we would go to get away from stress? Not I! I remember always going over to Loren’s house to get away from my parents in high school. However now it’s so nice to be over here. It’s quiet (and I mean quiet!), no distractions, no lectures… just peace. It’s wonderful.

My dad might be able to get Loren a job at the place where he works as a maintenance person. I think that’d be nice, but its suuuper hard for me to get a job in Salem. I’m not sure why, but I just can’t. There are really no businesses here that want the skills I have. The only jobs I’ve had in Salem where minimum wage paying jobs! One was Subway and the other was a grocery store. Yet in Portland there are quite a few nice jobs and they pay well too. Thus it’s either I commute or find someone in Salem to hire me.

I am just so tired of Salem it’s maddening. I’m young! I can move where ever I choose! All I have to find is a job and an apartment. Loren’s parents think otherwise. They say that we should get everything figured out, work for a few years, save some money, and then move wherever. In a few years I’m going to start wanting children! I’ll be 24. I want kids before I’m 30. I would think that finding a place you like then settling down would be the best idea. But maybe not, who friggen knows. All I know is that I hate Salem with a passion.

Labels: calm, children, hate, job, moving, peace, Portland, quiet, Salem, stress

Mindy | 9:14 AM | Post a Comment

Today's rant is brought to you by the letters "F" and "U"

I'm almost done with this blogger coolness. Just a few more tweaks and it's done for. Then to move on to my myspace. It's going to look cool! You'll just have to check it out later today.

Offline, I'm dying. Today will mark the, I believe, 4th time I've cried within a month. With looking for a job, having no money, bill collectors, and moving into Loren's parent's house it's so stressful. However I would be able to handle that. Factor in Loren's Dad, and occasionally Mom, ranting and lecturing us every day (no lie) about one thing or another, I'm going to go snap before the month is over! Seriously. Every idea or desire we've had that involves us moving or working outside of the Salem area has been met with a long lecture and ultimately a road block. Loren and I have gone from wanting to move out of state to wanting to move out of Salem to just wanting to move out of this effing house. They want us to stay here until we’ve paid off all or our debt and then find a place close by. Fuck NO! You honestly have to be here for a day to understand. They just got home from Home Depot. There wasn’t even a hello. Just right back in to lecturing, what they were doing before they left, about something that’s not even their business!! I just want to kill something. *sigh* That’s enough for now. You’ll hear about this mess later I’m sure.

Labels: bills, blogger, cry, gerecke house, hell, kill, moving, myspace, rant, Salem, stress

Mindy | 3:16 PM | Post a Comment